What’s Going on Beneath the Surface

The nice thing about a blog is that it can double as a journal.  I can use this to record my escapades, but also to process them.  And process I shall do.  I am a verbal processor, so friends bare with me as i take advantage of your listening eyes(since you are reading this not hearing it).  I only have a little over a month left here so I want to make the most of it.
What I have learned so far is that I need to learn the language.  That I need to be praying.  I know it is hard to look at this summer and think “Man, I did so much for the kingdom and saw so much fruit…”  But that is a selfish train of thought, and not how God thinks.  He tells us to seek first His kingdom, to love Him, and love others.  If I do those things and grow in those areas then in God’s eyes (the ones that matter) this summer has been a success.

I can’t really have conversations with the people because I can’t speak their language.  There are a lot of things I could do to bless this family but since they have a maid/nanny who does a lot of what I could do.
What I have found out is that this summer is a chance for me to learn, to see for myself what life full time here entails. I am here to prepare for the future and be a blessing to those who I come in contact with.  I am here to smile at people, to pray, to learn, to be as salty and light-giving as I can. 
I think when I sum up everything I am reading, doing, seeing and learning… this isn’t about doing so much as being.  Being someone who knows the Gospel and values it above all else.  Being someone who’s life showers those around you with the love of Jesus.
It is about being someone who walks the walk and does not just sit around comfortably talking with friends over coffee about all the right things.  There will be risks, times that are uncomfortable, seasons that are just downright hard, days when your flesh get the best of you.  There will be cities you don’t like, pollution that makes it hard to breathe/always dreary, and things that are frustrating.
Despite the sense of adventure that being in a foreign country provides the time will come when the newness wears off. 
I know that all sounds really negative; honestly I really am quite the optimist.  I swear. I think that what I am realizing is that this is all a battle, and engaging in it is a decision that has to be made every day.  Seizing the moments and fighting to win (the victory that is already ours in Christ) requires commitment, knocking down walls, risk, sacrifice, and having your joy be in the Solid Rock… your focus on the attributes and promises of God.
The question is will you live for God, for the Kingdom, for Gospel when it isn’t convenient, when it isn’t fun, and when it doesn’t make sense?  Will you put it all on the line knowing some way some how you will be provided for?  Will you be more grateful that you have lived than concerned with laboring to make your life long and cushy? 
These are the things you see here.  They aren’t always dramatic though… living as a Christian here can be just as subtle as in the states.  One can get into a routine, a rut, a comfortable place and be just as unengaged spiritually as a in the States.
At the end of the day being a missionary is NOT about what you did, how many languages you speak, how many tracts you distributed, or how many seeds you planted.  Being a missionary is about knowing and worshipping God.  It is about being not doing, your heart’s focus not your physical location. 
Thanks for listening as I process this summer, and praying for me along the way. I start my journey home a month from today… pray that I maximize the time i have left, seize every moment, and become more like Christ.  
Till next time, 

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