*This was supposed to be posted 2 Fridays ago*
This time last year, Will and I would have been swimming with sting rays in Grand Cayman! Now that was a super happy Friday! For Happy Hour we had DQ =)
SEEN as we still would have been on our honeymoon a year ago, I think it is still appropriate to write about our first year of marriage. We wanted to do something we haven’t ever done before and write a collaborative post about what we learned our first year.
We have the perfect marriage and obviously know everything since we have a whole year under our belts…. Not a chance. That was complete sarcasm. What we do know is: A) No one and therefore no marriage is perfect. B) There’s ALWAYS more to learn, which is good because it keeps things interesting. C) Even if we thought we knew everything, no two relationships are alike; therefore, we wouldn’t have all the answers for every other marriage out there. In other words, it’s a good thing we have our whole lives to work on this. =)
Be that as it may, we had a wonderful first year. You can call it beginner’s luck or the honeymoon stage, but judging by all the encouraging cards we received during our anniversary week, we think we must be doing pretty good for a couple of rookies. As rookies we think it is important to look back and process. Football teams often red shirt players for their first year. It’s a chance for the players to learn the playbook, learn their roles, get stronger and smarter, and figure out how they function as a part of the team. We think year 1 of marriage is pretty similar. Learning how marriage works, developing our strengths as a couple, figuring out what our roles are. So here is a glance back at some of our struggles and success so we can move on into this next year smarter and stronger.
- It was easy to get used to each other. When we were dating and were long distance we would have never thought that would be possible, but it is. Just like life with a roommate, it was easy to get used to having each other around and settle into drifting through life together instead of savoring and making the most of every day.
- Loneliness. Yes, you can get lonely even when sharing a house with your best friend. This is a struggle that both of us have gone through at different times. Neither of us wanted to admit it, but the truth is your spouse probably isn’t all you need in the social category. I need girl friends and people to talk to when my introverted husband needs a break from my chatty, hyper self. Likewise Will needs men and people who can carry on real conversations about baseball, the stock market… you know man stuff. (we partially solved this with Pupster)
- Conversing about the deep stuff. We had no problem with this when we were dating, but once the barrier of the phone or computer was removed, and we were able to see each other every day it was/is natural to put off bringing up intimate conversation. This is something that we are still working on, but so far the key seems to be creating the right environment like a walk, or sitting on the front porch, or a long car ride when you can’t avoid something any longer.
- We haven’t had a fight. Several people warned us that the first year of marriage is rough, a difficult adjustment, but that was not our story this last year. I am not sure if we don’t fight because we have the foresight to know that our personalities would be very volatile in an argument so we allow ourselves time to cool off. But my fingers are crossed that we will be like my parents, who in 38 years of marriage have only had approximately 5 arguments, maybe.
- We’ve learned to plan menus, grocery shop, and cook together. Cooking together is one of our favorite ways to spend an evening… until it’s time to do the dishes. lol. It’s a way for us to spend time together every day, we don’t have to carve out extra time to spend with each other. It’s a natural part of every day that creates an opportunity for conversation to happen organically.
- We serve together. Serving (serve the city) provides an opportunity for us to pursue God and pursue each other, but more importantly it creates an outlet for our love and joy to spill over on to others. That spill over has strengthened and deepened our roots, and blessed us with so many other great relationships and memories.
- Financially. Although it’s a miracle that we came through tax season with hair on our heads and no ulcers in our stomachs, on the whole, we managed to blend our finances pretty seamlessly. Beyond that, we have managed to maintain a pretty steady budget, buy a tv, take trips, and save a nice chunk of cash moneys. Props to Will on this. He loves deal hunting and crunching the numbers. He’s the brains behind our financial unity and stability.
- Silly Successes: Will uses the same cup all day long to drink from, I have become a Reds fan – I actually enjoy listening to the games now, I can fold sheets really well, Will grew a killer backyard garden,I learned to cut both of our hair, we are successful puppy parents, and we have become better nurses due to the amount of times we have gotten each other sick.
Here’s to seeing what year two holds!
A little advice: Take lots of pictures! Here are some mostly from our date nights! =)
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